When I was in my early teens and my family was living in Europe – back in the 1960’s I became friends with a local girl whose parents owned a resort/spa and she invited me to use the services as her guest. Well to make a very long story short I was massaged by a couple of women who provided me with a lot more than a back rub. I always enjoyed my visits there and they seemed to have fun too.

Nowadays those women would be considered terribly criminal for engaging in sexual activity with a boy barely into his teens. Personally, I never felt violated, in fact felt extremely lucky to have such great teachers introduce me to the world of lovemaking. more than that they demonstrated that humans were a whole person including sexuality and they simply celebrated my youthful sexual response to touch as normal and healthy.

So my question is are there others out there – male or female who found early and perhaps socially unacceptable sexual activity to be a positive experience in their life?

Second, is it just guys that feel this way? Is there a double standard in that a young lady in similar situations is violated and young man is simply lucky?
How has it impacted me? I am acutelly aware of pleasuring my partner. I have had a successful 20+ year marriage. I do think Americans are too hung up on sex and far too afrraid of nudity, but then again I grew up in Europe where I saw my females friends nude on the beach so there really wasn’t much mystery about them and less sex happening between teens back then than I think we have here these days.
Contessa,

They were much older – I would guess lmid twenties to mid thirties. I was 13 that year like the daughter of the owner I was friends with.

I am sure the women there serviced other customers as part of thier service or as an extra service. I suspect that with usual clients some cash was exchanged.

I know, well don’t know, but I am as certain as i can be that my female friend recieved the same type of services because the first day she took me there the sounds from the room she went to indicated she was being pleasured by the owmen taking care of her as well, although my understanding of same sex female to female sex was not developed at the time so I really didn’t think about what this meant until much later..

As far as your guess i think it was accurate. I was a pet of the staff – a novelty – a young american boy and they all seemed delighted to teach me nor was the pelasure one way. They taught me how to pleasure their bodies as well. I learned a lot!
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According to February’s Elle Magazine, Heidi Fleiss is opening “the world’s first legal brothel and spa for women with exclusively male hookers”. Heidi is convinced plenty of women have lost patience with romance and want to get in and out of sex with the kind of expedience only money can buy. “Plus, everything has changed so much, with women making more money and being in control, women will come for bachelorette and birthday parties, for the novelty and the bragging rights, or simply because they have the time and the money and they want to get a manicure, a pedicure, and sex. She is currently awaiting license approval. Heidi’s web site shows an assortment of hunks with the caption that she plans to open, in the next 60 days, the first licensed luxury brothel where women can pick and choose the man of thei dreams. Ladies, do you believe the brothel will be a success? Would you pay for services at the brothel? If so, what type of men (men) or services would you request?
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It started with a visit to a Chinese massage joint about 3 weeks ago. Of course the establishment offered a happy ending and I obliged. A couple days later I visited another establishment (not Asian) that advertised as a health spa in the local alternative paper. This place offered full nude hot tub massages. I soon worked my way through all of the “therapists” and have settled on two different ones. In the last 10 days, I have started visiting a strip club after work as well. I have been visiting the Chinese place during my lunch time, then going to a local gentlemen’s club for private dances after work – and then visiting the full service “health” spa each night before bed. This has turned into a $600+ per day habit. I am less concerned with the money part and more concerned with what has suddenly “tripped my trigger”. I am a 36 year old male going through divorce. My urge to partake in these activities is seemly out of control. What is wrong with me? Will it stop?
Koleebear – seems you may be on to something. I greatly enjoy the holding, touching, warm breaths that come with the sessions more than the sexual climax.

jassy – I don’t know that I prefer these places or paying. I think it is more likely that the girls in these places know the experience I am looking for – and they provide it.
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Wedding budgeting is the least desired part of the getting hitched process for most brides.  When the bride and groom are shelling out the wedding themselves, it’s hard enough, but when someone else is footing the bill, keeping the expenses in check is also important.

You can split the wedding budgeting process into categories.

First you have your printing charges.  These include invitations and reply cards, announcements, napkins, thank you cards, wedding programs, and postage.

Then you have the different fees such as the marriage license, clergy fee, ceremony location, reception location, and equipment rentals.

Flowers make up 10 to 15 percent of most bride’s budgets.  You have to factor in the Bride’s bouquet, the throw bouquet, decorations, corsages, brides maids flowers, and boutonnières.

Gifts to bridesmaids, groomsmen, and ushers all have to be factored in too.

Attire for the different parties has to be figured into the wedding budgeting.  The Bridal Gown in many cases comprises 10 percent of the total cost of the wedding.  Plus, you have to figure in the bridal shoes and accessories, the groom’s tux, the groom’s accessories, the bridesmaids dresses, and the attendant’s tuxedos or suits.

The pre-wedding festivities must be budgeted as well.  These include the engagement party, bachelor and bachelorette parties, and the rehearsal dinner.

Entertainment, both at the ceremony and the reception, must be factored in.

Costs for the videographer and photographer must be budgeted.

Catering will make up a big chunk out of the budget.  This includes the food and drink at the reception and the wedding cake.

You’ll want a limo to transport the bride and groom and you may want to factor in the rate of parking at the reception for guests.

Engagement and wedding rings are another big expense depending on their elaborateness.

There are miscellaneous charges such as wedding favors and tipping.  Plus, you’ll need to leave some space in your budget for unexpected costs.

A wedding planner may make your wedding easier, but usually she won’t make it less expensive.  On top of the fee you pay her, she may also add a percentage mark up to any goods or services that she arranges.

The average cost for a wedding is 28,732.  When you start looking at all of the expenses that go into the wedding, you can see why it is so much.  That’s why you need to begin the process by developing a good wedding budget so things do not get out of control.

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The first thing that needs to be considered when planning the ultimate wedding is how much time you will give yourself for the planning. In essence; this means what day that you will set the date of the wedding.

This may sound like a trivial matter, but it really is important because it will let you know what the time limit is for making your preparations.

Some weddings can take up to 3-4 months to prepare for and plan. This is pretty typical; depending on how big you are planning for your wedding to be and how fancy etc.

If you are not giving yourself more than a month, then planning is naturally different. Because of the differences in the time that you are giving yourself to planning the wedding, it is best to give the best planning methods and you may use them or not use them as they apply to your case.

One of the most important factors that go with planning a wedding is determining who you will be delegating specific duties to. For example, if you are terrible at choosing flowers, who will you assign to do it for you?

It is always best to try to give different duties to others so that you will not be overwhelmed by them yourself. Let’s take a look at some of the various duties that you can hand out:

• Catering: Who do you believe would be the best person to handle all of the arrangements for the food and drink at your wedding?
• Invitations and seating arrangements: This person will be addressing and mailing out invitations and making sure that people are seated in a fashion that will ensure everyone’s mutual comfort and enjoyment
• Decorations for wedding and reception includes center pieces
• Rehearsal dinners etc.
• Music and/or DJ
• Brides maid and groomsmen gifts and favors
• Gowns, and tuxedos
• Bridal showers/bachelor parties etc.

All of these things are usual must haves when it comes to a wedding, unless of course, you opt not to have bridesmaids or groomsmen in the wedding. All of these things can be murder to try to do on your own as well.

That is why you have to get in touch with people who are capable of taking over some of the menial jobs for you. All of these things seem small at first, but they can quickly add up to quite a bit of money when they are all combined together.

After you have delegated the responsibilities, you should next set a specific time period to have all of the tasks completed. Creating a to-do list and time sheet is a great way to do this. That way, when all of the tasks are finished you can easily check them off.

You should set up specific times and days to discuss the progress of things as well, just in case things are not going so well. In doing this you will be able to help make sure that all things are running smoothly.

You might be wondering what happens when you have done all of this and are ready to get started. First of all, you have to be willing to follow the general wishes of the couple to be wed; that is unless you are the couple and are planning your own wedding.

When planning a wedding on a budget you have to lower your requirements just a bit. For example, you can’t try to have to filet mignon if you are throwing the wedding on a fish stick budget. I have broken down the various aspects of the wedding planning to the last details so that you will get a better idea of what I mean.

Ideally, you would want to have at least a year to plan the wedding, but that is not always possible or desired. For the purposes of this guide, I have set up a 12 month wedding timeline that will certainly make it a little bit easier to host your wedding.

12 months before your Wedding day:

• Announce the engagement
• Set your wedding date
• Create a budget
• Hire a Wedding Coordinator (optional)
• Create your guest list
• Start brainstorming ideas and themes
• Reserve your Ceremony spot
• Book an Officiate
• Make reservations for your Reception area
• Book a Photographer and Videographer
• Book Caterer, Florist and Music (Band, DJ, etc.)
• Look for a Wedding gown and Tux, allowing time for alterations and fittings
• Register for gifts
• Select and call the bridesmaids and groomsmen.
• Agree on a date to order bridesmaids’ dresses and groomsmen’s tuxes
• Choose a destination for your Honeymoon
• Apply for passports, if required

6 months before your Wedding day:

• Finalize your guest list
• Decide on the timeline and details of Ceremony and Reception
• Order/make invitations, and thank you notes
• Make airline and hotel reservations for the Honeymoon
• Choose a caterer, a florist and place an order for the wedding cake.
• Book Transportation (Limo, Antique Car, Etc.) for wedding day
• Shop for any Party rentals

3-4 months before your Wedding day:

• Mail out/hand deliver invitations
• Confirm wedding details and contracts with all wedding vendors
• Choose gifts for your attendants
• Set a date and time for the rehearsal dinner
• Help make travel arrangements for any out-of-town guests
• Make final alterations and fittings for the Wedding Gown and Tux
• Set time with your Photographer for the Bridal Portrait or Engagement shoot

1 month before your Wedding day:

• Apply for the marriage license
• Buy your wedding bands
• Finalize music list and no-play list with band or DJ
• Attend showers
• Make insurance arrangements

1-2 weeks before your Wedding day:

• Schedule the rehearsal a day or two before your wedding day
• Make an appointment with a Beauty Salon for day of wedding
• Send a wedding announcement to the local newspapers (optional)
• Make necessary arrangements for name & address change, if any.
• Discuss final details with the reception Site and the Caterer
• Pack for honeymoon
• Write out all checks needed for wedding day
• Send reminders to the rehearsal dinner attendees about the location & time
• Discuss final details of the ceremony and reception with family and bridal party

Wedding day or day before:

• Visit your Beauty Salon for manicure and pedicure
• Host the rehearsal and dinner.
• Make sure the ushers have the final guest list.

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